Friday Q&A

Questionable Deletion

Greetings, crickets and trolls. Welcome back to another edition of the Friday Q&A. In this regular feature, I explore important issues facing the Fark Photoshop community. I'm not the first Photoshopper to take up blogging, but I'm one of the few who isn't a miserably ignorant piece of shit with 100% wrong opinions. I'll have you know that only 57% of my opinions are wrong. And you'd better damn well agree with all of them.

Q: Why does Photobucket suck?

A: There simply isn't enough space in a single Q&A to contain my entire list of why Photobucket is a crappy image host. We'll set aside the eye-gouging interface for now and just focus on their despotic moderation policy. Many PSers have found themselves on the wrong side of Photobucket's TOS. Without warning, the offending images are replaced with an angry red placecard.

Q: What kinds of images are forbidden?

A: The answer might surprise you. Classical artwork with any kind of nudity seems to be a frequent offender. Likewise, Nazi imagery also seems to be verboten. Beyond that, I devised a test to determine what kind of content the PB mods dislike. When I set up the new Cliche City, I hosted most of the images at Photobucket. Over the past few months, they've gradually been picked off. Birth of Man and Paris Hilton's open snatch were obvious gets, but the latest victim surprised even me.

The Special Olympics kid is one of Fark's oldest cliches. It may not be the most politically correct, but it's far from offensive. And there's certainly no copyright at stake. As far as I know, that image is in the public domain.

Q: Why does Photobucket hate retarded people?

A: I have no idea, but such a policy seems bad for business. Probably half of all Photobucket users are retarded, so that's a lot of pictures to delete. They're going to need a diligent staff of fascists working around the clock just to keep up with demand.

That's all for this time, gentle reader. Thanks again for stopping by. I'll continue to monitor the authoritarian takeover of Photobucket. Nudity and racism are one thing, but when their mods deny our constitutional right to mock the handicapped, they're messing with forces they cannot possibly understand.

Stay tuned for more uncensored derision from the Doctor!

Saturday Q&A

Questionable Apparition

Greetings, crickets and trolls. Welcome to a spooky Saturday edition of the Friday Q&A. How nice of you to join me for the Picture Clinic's third annual Halloween Special. As you well know, this ghoulish evening is serious business for me. I've been setting werewolf and dracula traps all week. I plan to capture evidence of the paranormal, or more likely, my own schizophrenia. At any rate, let's get to the questions.

Q: Why didn't Target use Domo Kun this year?

A: As some of my readers may recall, last Halloween the Target corporation used beloved Fark cliche Domo Kun in their seasonal store displays. This concentration of marketing resulted in a collective cheer from the Fark community and a collective WTF from pretty much everyone else. While your area may have differed, this year I was unable to find any Domo Kun merchandise at my local Target store. However, their website still has a wide variety available.


Q: Has Halloween become more dangerous?

A: Absolutely. When you send your kids out trick-or-treating, you're introducing them to an element of danger. Without proper supervision, there's a good chance they won't return with enough candy. Children are easily replaced (see my series of instructional videos) but the possibility of losing those precious Butterfinger and Nestle Crunch bars is far too much of a gamble.


Q: Do you have any Halloween safety tips?

A: I sure do. There's no telling what kind of weirdos lurk in the neighborhood. That's why I always send my kids out with a loaded firearm. Remember, forearmed is forewarned. Or maybe it's the other way around. Years of ether abuse have damaged my ability to interpret common axioms. At any rate, just tell your kids to only point the gun at people who threaten their candy.

That's all for this time, ghoulish reader. Have a happy Halloween. I know the idea of giving your children loaded weapons may seem dangerous, but would you rather lose all that delicious candy? The potential rewards far outweigh the risks.

Stay tuned for more safety tips from the Doctor!

Friday Q&A

Questionable Comparison

Greetings, crickets and trolls. Welcome to another edition of the Friday Q&A, your source for Photoshop information and ad hominem attacks. It's important for you to recognize that you're stupid, and all that of your opinions are incorrect. Luckily, I have a genius-level IQ (by my own estimation) which I happily put to work educating the unwashed Photoshop masses.

Q: What is the best image editing program?

A: As you're no doubt aware, there are many options available when it comes to image manipulation software. Debates frequently occur over which one is truly best, usually devolving into bitter catfights between users of Photoshop and the GIMP.

Q: What advantages does the GIMP offer?

A: The GNU Image Manipulation Program is an open source graphics editor. As such, it is not beholden to any type of corporate interest. This makes the GIMP very popular among hippies and cheapskates. It offers all the advantages of using an unpolished, often broken application. But it's a FREE unpolished and broken app.

Q: What advantages does Photoshop offer?

A: Adobe Photoshop is the industry standard. It enjoys superior name recognition and the benefit of corporate funding. It also suffers the detriment of built-in spyware, with the Adobe LM Service constantly monitoring your system as an anti-piracy measure. If you can abide this level of corporate scrutiny, and have several hundred dollars, PS may be the program for you.
This is not a hidden message.
That's all for this time, gentle reader. I hope this week's discussion shed a bit of light on the old GIMP vs. Photoshop debate. Maybe you learned something about yourself, like the fact that you're a dirty open source hippy or a corporate sellout with a spyware-infested computer.

Stay tuned for more harsh reality from the Doctor!

Friday Q&A

Questionable Contribution

Greetings, crickets and trolls. Welcome to another edition of the Friday Q&A. Here at the Picture Clinic, I do my best to shine a beacon of hope and truth on the masses of Fark's Photoshop community. Failing that, I insult my readers and carry out petty grudges with persons of diminished mental capacity. Good times, indeed.

Q: Has the Scrutinizer been fixed yet?

A: Apparently not. As featured in last week's edition, some changes to Fark have caused complications over at the Scrutinizer. The date/time stamp of all recent contests is still being displayed incorrectly. Any attempts to reach Mr Squirrel have failed, but it's assumed that he is very busy and unable to fix the problem at this time.

Q: What kind of changes were made to Fark?

A: It would appear that Drew & co have finally heeded the suggestion to display a list of current Photoshop contests. This is feature has been requested time and again by members of our community. Hopefully, we'll see a surge in voting as the contests become easier to browse. The list can be found linked under the headline of every PS thread.

Q: What other features would you like to see added?
TSZ reads this blog every week.
A: There are so many that I can think of. First of all, I'd like a way to ignore people with more talent than me. Placing every single one of our community members on my ignore list has become a bit tedious (though necessary for the hyperinflation of my ego). I'd also like a filter to automatically block small images from being submitted to the contest queue. The recent past has seen more than a few postage stamp-sized O's.

That's all for this time, gentle reader. Thanks again for stopping by. Hopefully the recent changes made to Fark will result in a higher voter turnout. Unfortunately, since the same changes seem to have broken the Scrutinizer, it will be difficult to tell.

Stay tuned for more ironic conundrums from the Doctor!

Friday Q&A

Questionable Malfunction

Greetings, crickets and trolls. Welcome to another edition of the Friday Q&A. In this regular feature, I take a look at issues facing the Fark Photoshop community. As luck would have it, I also frequently find time to antagonize people who have the misfortune of disagreeing with me. But not in this week's post. I'm afraid we have no choice but to set aside the unquestionable banality of your Photoshop work. There are fare more pressing matters at hand.

Q: What's wrong with the Scrutinizer?

A: There's no question that the heretofore reliable Scrutinizer is experiencing some technical difficulties. There have been more than a few indications that the stats aren't being tallied correctly. Earlier this week, an alert PSAEFer noticed this anomaly on the one of the "most votes, single entry" charts.


The fate of those "disappeared" from the list is anyone's guess. I suggest we form a search party, leaving no stone unturned. On second thought, that sounds like a bit too much work. It would probably involve going outside, or at least Googling something.

Q: Is anything else wrong with the Scrutinizer?

A: Statistical anomalies aside, Mr Squirrel's site has been running fairly well without much attention from the man himself. Unfortunately, recent changes to Fark have resulted in more problems.


Now none of the dates after the 8th will display properly. Luckily, stats continue to be calculated. Hopefully Mr Squirrel will find time to perform some much-needed maintenance the resource he has so graciously provided.

Q: Where is Mr Squirrel?

A: That appears to be the question of the hour. All efforts to contact Mr Squirrel by email have failed. No one seems to know the whereabouts of this revered community member. Even my tracking unit has lost contact.

That's all for this time, gentle reader. Thanks again for stopping by. I want to apologize to Mr Squirrel for poking fun at him in this week's edition. Like everyone else, I recognize that his busy schedule does not leave a lot of time for Farking, and even less for maintaining a resource that he ostensibly doesn't use.
Also, TSZ is a douche.
Stay tuned for more preemptive mitigation from the Doctor!

Friday Q&A

Questionable Substitution

Greetings, crickets and trolls. Welcome to another edition of the Friday Q&A. I'm glad you took the time to join me today, as we have important business to discuss. Sure, it might seem like the same tired crap that's been debated ad nauseum in the PSAEF, but facts can be deceiving.

Q: Do you prefer positive comments or votes?

A: This question is frequently asked in our community. Many consider positive feedback on a Fark entry to be as important (if not more so) than the total number of votes it receives. Personally, I've never felt this to be true. In reality, one usually begets the other. It's rare for an image to draw a large amount of comments without also garnering a decent vote tally. If so, it means usually means whomever enjoyed it wasn't smart enough to also click the "vote" box.

Q: Why is voting so important?

A: The outcome of voting is not necessarily more important than generating positive feedback, but unfortunately the Scrutinizer doesn't keep track of comments made about an entry. Good or bad, anything said is bound to be quickly forgotten. Meanwhile, your vote average will live on in perpetuity thanks to the incomparable Mr Squirrel.

Q: Do you vote for yourself?
There is no secret message is this week's post.
A: It's true that many Photoshoppers won't cast a vote for their own entries. They see this practice as dishonest, since the margin of victory in these contests is often so slim. I'm elated that people feel this way, because I totally don't! I love voting for my own stuff. It gives me a leg up on what can otherwise be some pretty intimidating competition. No matter what your level of skill is, you will kneel before the power of my one extra vote!
Also, TSZ is a jackass.
That's all for this time, gentle reader. As usual, thanks for stopping by. I hope this week's discussion convinced you of the importance that voting will always hold in our community. At least until a clever Farker figures out how to average the total number of positive comments for a given Photoshopper into a percentage that person can obsess over and be judged by.

Stay tuned for more acute discernment from the Doctor!

Friday Q&A

Questionable Adulation

Greetings, crickets and trolls. Welcome to another fine edition of the Friday Q&A. This weekly feature is usually chock full of hatred and animosity. After all, that's what my readers demand. As the last surviving Photoshop hate blogger, I feel it's my duty to package bile-ridden spite for the masses to consume. However, occasionally something will happen that requires me to set aside the pretense of negativity. Such an event occurred earlier this week, when yet another Fark entry appeared on the urban legend website Snopes.com.

Q: How many Fark entries have ended up on Snopes?

A: Until recently, the answer has been only one, Lukket's infamous "Computer of the Future" from 2004. It still pops up around the Web in various articles and blog posts, often presented as a real photograph. The Snopes writeup can be found here.

It was once stated (by a failed critic) that modern age Photoshoppers could never hope to create an image this subversively hilarious. Personally, I felt that it was only a matter of time. The approval of thread 4580667 certainly aided the process.

Q: Which image made it to Snopes?

A: That honor goes to SvartVinbars, whose fifth place entry featuring Barrack Obama as a member of the Black Panther Party has had great success trolling Right Wingers. Here is the image, in case you missed it:

This picture has been making the rounds in emails, often alleging a cover up by the mainstream media. At this rate, we'll be lucky not to have another gaggle of Obama conspiracy theorists on our hands by next month. Congratulations to SvartVinbars, and anyone who forwarded the image to a panicky relative or coworker.

Q: Why did the Black Panther Obama have so much success?

A: I try to refrain from political commentary on this blog. However, I can say without a doubt that there are some people who desperately want SvartVinbars' image to be real. Snopes goes to great length in pointing out that the picture is an obvious 'shop. The source pic is well known, and Obama couldn't have been more than 10 years old when the Black Panthers were active. While there's no way to predict the long term circulation of Black Panther Obama, you won't catch me betting against the power of human stupidity.

That's all for this time, gentle reader. Thanks for stopping by. I want to close this post by once again congratulating SvartVinbars on attaining what so many before him failed to achieve. I admire his Photoshop skills and ability to troll simple-minded idiots, the latter of which is second only to my own.

Stay tuned for more unnecessary self-aggrandizement from the Doctor!